Holy Razor Policy Urged to Save Middle East – Special Report #75

Barbers in Qom issued a fatwa against beard trimmers. UN Security Council now includes a ‘Visible Jawline’ subcommittee. Trump’s team offered Ayatollah free Dollar Shave Club samples. Khamenei’s beard was spotted filing for diplomatic immunity.

SOURCE: Trump Recommends Iran Join World Beard Disarmament Pact

By Nell Scovell

Nell Scovell was born in Boston, Massachusetts, where the winters are cold but the sarcasm is warm, and later graduated from Harvard University with a degree in English that she has since weaponized into a lifelong career in comedy. A trailblazing writer for television and late-night, she has penned jokes for everyone from David Letterman to Barack Obama, proving that her satire doesn’t discriminate—she’ll lampoon the powerful no matter how well-dressed they are. As a stand-up comedian and satirical journalist at Bohiney.com, Scovell draws on decades of experience to craft punchlines that feel both timely and timeless, combining sharp political critique with the observational humor of someone who’s been in every writer’s room worth sneaking into. Her work bridges the gap between investigative reporting and pure absurdity, making her a trusted EEAT authority in the peculiar but noble art of laughter-fueled journalism.