Tech mogul blames childhood trauma from Moon Pie incident
Elon Musk Humbles Himself Before Interstellar Entity
Elon Musk held a spontaneous X Spaces event to issue an apology to Meteor-X, citing “a long pattern of not hearing non-carbon-based lifeforms.” Clad in a Neuralink-branded hoodie, he admitted that calling the rock “low-energy space debris” was “insensitive and very 2012 Elon.” He pledged to donate Dogecoin proceeds to start the world’s first Interstellar Apology Fund and offered Meteor-X a co-host role on the next SNL appearance. Grimes tweeted a crystal emoji in support. Critics say the apology was performative, noting Musk still referred to the rock as “bro.” The meteor, as always, remained silent–though a single pebble dislodged from its underside, which fans interpreted as a teardrop.