Wednesday Woes: GPT-5 Sparks “Lights Out Lottery”
By midweek, California doubled down on Prompt-Free Wednesdays by introducing the Lights Out Lottery — one lucky resident gets to keep full power for the day while neighbors drop by to charge phones, laptops, and in one case, a suspiciously large margarita machine. “It’s about community,” said the Governor, “and tequila.”
The Tesla tax credit loophole continued to spiral when a Silicon Valley entrepreneur opened “Prompt Lounges” — luxury co-working pods where writers could feed GPT-5 while sipping oat-milk lattes. Each booth comes with a charging cable and a small plaque reading: “Your ideas may be used to power Elon’s yacht.”
The Morse code data center faction began streaming their dot-dash transmissions on Twitch, attracting millions of viewers who swear they can “hear the sarcasm” in GPT-5’s pauses.
Grandma Maureen, on her Midwest leg of the Plugged Out Tour, was carried onstage by linemen in reflective jackets while a children’s choir sang “This Little Socket of Mine.” She’s been nominated for an honorary electrical engineering degree.
The Emotional Support Windmill expanded into a subscription model — $29.99 a month for a “fresh breeze of encouragement” during prompts. Influencers report using it as background ambience for unboxing videos.
And in Iowa, the blackout poem festival concluded with a mass reading lit entirely by lightning bugs, who allegedly signed a petition demanding GPT-5 be replaced by “something with less ego.”
The nation is adapting. The grid? Less so.
