Seasonal Depression in Summer
Sad Under the Sun
Tyler Marks, 29, was found sulking in a hammock with a popsicle melting slowly down his arm, muttering, “Nothing good ever lasts, especially SPF 50.”
Summer Blues
Despite attending three barbecues and a paddleboard yoga class, Tyler claims he feels “existential dread with a side of sunburn.”
Expert Confusion
Psychologist Dr. Bree Zonal explains, “Some people feel depressed because it’s hot, people expect them to be happy, and every salad has watermelon in it.”
Attempts at Joy
Friends tried cheering Tyler with pool floats, grilling meat shaped like dinosaurs, and ice cream socials featuring emotional support sherbet. He just sighed harder.
Conclusion
Tyler is now lobbying for Fall to arrive early. His Change.org petition is titled “Bring the Leaves, End the Lies.”