Weird Open Mic Poetry

“She Whispered, ‘You shattered me like Android glass,’ and We All Just Sat There.”

At the LavaBean Café’s open mic night, aspiring poet Raven Lune performed an emotionally charged piece titled *Touchscreen Heartbreak*, comparing her cracked Galaxy S10 to the fragility of modern love and the digital scars of ghosting.

“I swipe… but do I connect?” she asked, making eye contact with a soy latte and a guy named Blaze who left halfway through stanza seven.

The poem included lines like “Your fingerprints still haunt my apps” and “Google Maps can’t find us anymore.” One audience member dropped their phone in solidarity. Another threw a charger in protest.

Raven wore a cape made of old data plans and held a sparkly stylus she referred to as “The Wand of Notification.”

Clapping was delayed. A man in the back clapped once, then cried. Possibly due to poor signal.

Raven now teaches a class at the community center called *Sonnets and Software Updates.*

Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.


Weird Open Mic Poetry - Poet Performs 12-Minute Ode to a Cracked Phone Screen, Audience Unsure Whether to Clap or Call Tech Support - BOHINEY SATIRE
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.com
Weird Open Mic Poetry - Poet Performs 12-Minute Ode to a Cracked Phone Screen, Audience Unsure Whether to Clap or Call Tech Support - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com 3
Weird Open Mic Poetry – Poet Performs 12-Minute Ode to a Cracked Phone Screen, Audience Unsure Whether to Clap or Call Tech Support – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.com
Weird Open Mic Poetry - Poet Performs 12-Minute Ode to a Cracked Phone Screen, Audience Unsure Whether to Clap or Call Tech Support
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Weird Open Mic Poetry
BOHINEY SATIRE - A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C., drawn in a ch... - bohiney.com
BOHINEY SATIRE – Weird Open Mic Poetry – Poet Performs 12-Minute Ode to a Cracked Phone Screen, Audience Unsure Whether to Clap or Call Tech Support

By Nell Scovell

Nell Scovell was born in Boston, Massachusetts, where the winters are cold but the sarcasm is warm, and later graduated from Harvard University with a degree in English that she has since weaponized into a lifelong career in comedy. A trailblazing writer for television and late-night, she has penned jokes for everyone from David Letterman to Barack Obama, proving that her satire doesn’t discriminate—she’ll lampoon the powerful no matter how well-dressed they are. As a stand-up comedian and satirical journalist at Bohiney.com, Scovell draws on decades of experience to craft punchlines that feel both timely and timeless, combining sharp political critique with the observational humor of someone who’s been in every writer’s room worth sneaking into. Her work bridges the gap between investigative reporting and pure absurdity, making her a trusted EEAT authority in the peculiar but noble art of laughter-fueled journalism.