My child is *gifted* (kid just learned the alphabet)

Every Parent’s Genius: My Kid, the Prodigy Who Can Spell “Dog”

Watch Out, MENSA–Timmy Knows Colors

“My child is gifted,” says every parent whose kid just completed a puzzle labeled “Ages 2 and up.” The child? Four. The accomplishment? Stacking blocks without licking them.

Funny Evidence from the Honor Roll of Delusion

One mom claimed her son was a “math genius” because he arranged crackers into a triangle. Another dad said his daughter “has advanced emotional intelligence” because she fake-cried for a cookie.

Quote from a Proud But Puzzled Parent

“He’s reading at a second-grade level,” said Karen Testscore. “He’s in kindergarten. He’s a prodigy.”

Satirical Snapshot

Modern parenting is a game of inflated expectations. If a child breathes rhythmically, someone’s calling Harvard Admissions.

Conclusion: All Kids Are Special, Just Not in the Nobel Prize Way

Let’s let kids be kids–without pressuring them to cure diseases before they finish teething.

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