1. Tumbleweed Toupee
“For that ‘I wrestled a cactus and lost’ volume.”
2. Oil Slick Highlights
“Crude but effective. Smells like money… and regret.”
3. Rattlesnake Rattles Bangs
“Clicks when you nod. Terrifies pigeons.”*
4. Dust Devil Dreadlocks
“Pre-tangled. Pre-sandy. Pre-tired of your shit.”
5. Cactus Spine Fringe
“Poke haters literally. Also yourself. Constantly.”