Lifestyle
Local resident Maria Santos expressed bewilderment Tuesday after discovering that her houseplant, a resilient succulent named Gerald, continues to thrive despite her systematic neglect and apparent botanical incompetence.
PORTLAND, OR — I’ve tried everything, Santos said, gesturing helplessly at the flourishing plant. “I’ve forgotten to water it for months, put it in direct sunlight when it clearly hates it, and even accidentally fed it pizza once. Nothing works.” Gerald, purchased three years ago as a “low-maintenance” option, has grown from a modest 3-inch pot plant to what Santos describes as “an unstoppable green monster” that now dominates her living room. Experts suggest the plant may be thriving purely out of spite.