Suburban Life
Local father and weekend warrior Jim Henderson sent shockwaves through his neighborhood Tuesday when his 15-year-old lawn mower started on the first pull, defying all known laws of suburban physics.
Bob Odenkirk (staff writer)
SUBURBIA — This violates everything we understand about dad-machine relationships, explained Dr. Robert Chen, professor of Suburban Economics at State University. “When lawn mowers start easily, it typically signals the end times.” Henderson, who had prepared his usual 45-minute routine of creative cursing and mechanical percussive maintenance, was reportedly so shocked he forgot to complain about the neighbor’s hedges for the first time in three years. Local hardware stores have reported panic buying of backup lawn mowers as residents brace for the inevitable mechanical apocalypse.