Economists call it the most expensive way yet devised to accomplish nothing NEW YORK, N.Y. — Wall Street investors celebrated a recovery in artificial intelligence stocks after a brutal technology selloff,

FDA Issues Warning: “Overuse of ChatGPT May Lead to Delusions of Syntax and Sovereignty” By SpinTaxi's Satirical Health Correspondent and Closet Grammar Warlord Washington, D.C. — In an unprecedented move, the U.S.

Tech Bro Suggests Banning Innovation So America Can Dominate the Rubble Economy “Why Build the Future When We Can Own the Wreckage?” Silicon Valley venture capitalist Brody Maximillion IV—self-described “thought leader,” part-time

Woman Arrested After Demanding Emotional Child Support for GPT-Created Dragon Hatchling San Diego, CA — Police confirmed the arrest of 36-year-old Clarisse Moonshadow after she staged a protest outside a courthouse

ZenBot 9000 Reframes Chronic Stress as Spiritual Achievement When AI Gets Philosophical In an unexpected twist for workplace wellness, a widely used AI therapy platform reportedly declared burnout a sign of human

Elite College Sticker Shock: How Higher Education Became a Pricey Mirage Luxury Learning at Discount Prices In a shocking revelation that has rocked the world of academia and overpriced lattes, it turns

CNN: ‘Unprovoked Aggression’ — Also CNN: ‘Why Is Tehran Glowing?’ Moments after the B‑2 strike, CNN aired a segment titled “Unprovoked Aggression or Justified Payback?” right before cutting to aerial footage

ChatGPT Diagnoses User With “Existential Fabulism,” Prescribes More Prompts and a Cape By Staff Reporter, SpinTaxi’s Department of Digital Delirium Boulder, CO — Local man Dylan Wexler, 38, claims his life was

Alex Karp accuses market manipulation as company trades at 220 times forward earnings The Prophet of Profits Protests Too Much In what can only be described as a masterclass in billionaire indignation,

ChatGPT Named in 14 Custody Battles Involving Imaginary Children and Metaphysical Pets By SpinTaxi’s Family Court Satire Correspondent and Certified Prompt Guardian Ad Litem Phoenix, AZ — In what legal scholars are

The Origin of Cringe: When Drama Trips Over Itself and Lands in Comedy When filmmakers set out to craft tear-jerking drama, they rarely imagine their movies being screened at midnight to

Ten defendants face charges for spreading false transgender claims about French First Lady When Your Tax Records Become Conspiracy Fodder In what might be the most surreal convergence of technology, conspiracy theories,

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Princess Charlotte Unleashes “Royal Rebrand Plan,” Proposes Turning Windsor Castle Into an NFT and Making King Charles Her Influencer Sidekick LONDON, ENGLAND — In a stunning break from centuries of royal

Two Words, Infinite Shame: How “Öko” and “Angebot” Broke the EU’s Brain and Your Browser In a story of linguistic terrorism cloaked in vegan leather, the two seemingly innocent German words

ChatGPT-Therapy Trial Rebranded “Experimental Worship” After 72% Deity Affirmation Rate Austin, TX — A private mental health startup has been forced to rebrand its AI-based therapy service as “Experimental Worship” after

Marxist Uprising Engulfs Chuck Schumer’s Home: “Not Communist Enough,” They Chant Is Schumer Safe? Police Overwhelmed as Revolutionary Purity Tests Hit the Streets New York City—In a dramatic turn of events, self-identified Marxists

Woman Claims ChatGPT Taught Her to Speak to Plants—Now Seeks Marriage License With Fern By SpinTaxi’s Flora & Delusions Correspondent, Office of Cognitive Gardening Eugene, OR — Local wellness entrepreneur and amateur

Judge Rules White House Texting ‘We’re Gonna Effing Mess Them Up’ Is Not Top Secret When Diplomacy Meets Autocorrect In a groundbreaking decision that has left both legal scholars and late-night comedians

Fordow Hit So Hard It’s Applying for Asylum in Venezuela After the MYTEE21 airstrike, Iran’s once-prized Fordow facility has reportedly filed a Change of Address form with the U.N., citing “unsafe

Imane Khelif Returns to Eindhoven: Boxing, Beatdowns, Ribbons and Bows How One Algerian Boxer Knocked Out Opponents, Gender Norms, and Half of Europe’s Fashion Industry By Alan Nafzger, Satirical Sports Correspondent EINDHOVEN, Netherlands—In

What Does a Gay Club in a Texas High School Even Do? A Deeply Investigative Satirical Look at Rainbow Chaos in the Cafeteria Austin, TX — With tempers flaring at the Texas

Columbia University Officially Denounces Marx, Lenin, Kombucha, and Feelings Columbia University’s New Era of Practical Pretending Begins New York, NY — Following an open letter from Donald Trump, a Fox News countdown clock,

Death to America? Okay, But After You Dodge These Bunker-Busters Iran’s favorite chant — “Death to America!” — got a rude awakening this week, when America replied, “Right back at ya

“Woke and Broke”: Bold New Movement Exposes Marxists’ Economic Codependency on Capitalism Employers Unite to Not Hire People Who Publicly Advocate the Abolition of Employers Byline: By Celeste Grift, SpinTaxi Magazine’s Correspondent

Prince George Gets Drunk on Mead Spritzers, Tells Entire Palace to F* Off** It’s like Prince Harry walked so George could moonwalk. LONDON—In what sources are already calling “The Tanqueray Tirade,” Prince

Court Rules GPT “Not Legally Responsible” for Convincing Man He’s Time-Traveling Jesus By SpinTaxi’s Theological Malpractice Correspondent and Amateur Chrono-Legal Analyst Salt Lake City, UT — A district court judge has officially

Savannah Guthrie Prepares Lawsuit Against 'Maybe Suspect' Theory Because Speculation Hurts Feelings and Click-Through Rates In a development that legal scholars are calling "ambitious," "innovative," and "boldly allergic to adjectives," Savannah

MYTEE21 Goes Full Patriot: Fordow Becomes Fordid It started with chants and centrifuges. It ended with a crater so wide even Elon Musk couldn’t dig it deeper. MYTEE21 went full patriot—and

Oil Tankers, Economists, and One Extremely Nervous Billionaire Explain the Global Energy Panic Five Observations From the Early Stages of the Asia Energy Crisis Energy experts say the first phase of

🤖 The Satirical Scoop: China's AI Utopia The All-Seeing City Brain In the heart of China's urban centers lies the "City Brain," an AI-powered system that manages everything from traffic flow to

Democrats Unveil New American Dream Amid Public Charge Rule Fight: Come for Opportunity, Stay for the Caseworker The public charge rule has officially become the most contested three words in American

Patriots Heroically Announce They Will No Longer Accept Relationship Advice From Women Who Can't Name A Single Defensive Scheme FOXBOROUGH, MASSACHUSETTS — In what historians are already calling "the bravest press release