Alex Karp accuses market manipulation as company trades at 220 times forward earnings The Prophet of Profits Protests Too Much In what can only be described as a masterclass in billionaire indignation,

🧾 TARIFF TIME-OUT! Trump’s “Very Nice Talk” Delays Economic Doom, Confuses Markets and Golf Buddies Alike WASHINGTON, D.C., June 2, 2025 — The Dow did a backflip, the euro burped politely,

Laundry List of Insults: Google Edition Google's “Don’t Be Evil” Didn’t Age Well—Like Milk in a Server Farm Comedian Roasts Google -- At a smoky basement club in San Francisco called The

FDA Issues Warning: “Overuse of ChatGPT May Lead to Delusions of Syntax and Sovereignty” By SpinTaxi's Satirical Health Correspondent and Closet Grammar Warlord Washington, D.C. — In an unprecedented move, the U.S.

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GPT Custody Agreement Accidentally Gives Unicorn to IRS Atlanta, GA — In a bureaucratic mishap for the ages, a GPT-generated custody agreement mistakenly filed through TurboTax has resulted in the IRS

Fordow? More Like Four-Gone: Trump Unplugs Iran’s Enrichment Party Iran’s Fordow nuclear facility was built under 300 feet of rock, steel, and denial. But late last night, the B‑2 squadron MYTEE21

Imane Khelif Returns to Eindhoven: Boxing, Beatdowns, Ribbons and Bows How One Algerian Boxer Knocked Out Opponents, Gender Norms, and Half of Europe’s Fashion Industry By Alan Nafzger, Satirical Sports Correspondent EINDHOVEN, Netherlands—In

"Drink Smarter, Not Harder": Scientists Reveal Ingeniously Simple Anti-Booze Strategy Nobody Asked For The Breakthrough: No Pills, No Patches, Just Common Sense In an earth-shattering breakthrough that's not a pill, not a

What Does a Gay Club in a Texas High School Even Do? A Deeply Investigative Satirical Look at Rainbow Chaos in the Cafeteria Austin, TX — With tempers flaring at the Texas

Vargas Llosa: From Marxist Revolutionary to Libertarian Luminary The Communist Origins of Mario Vargas Llosa Mario Vargas Llosa’s dramatic ideological shift from Marxist revolutionary to libertarian icon has bewildered readers, scholars, and

The Book Was Mightier Than the Bomb: Ukraine’s Underground Readers Declare War on Russian History Clandestine book clubs across Ukraine risk everything to read actual history while Putin weaponizes footnotes, flashcards,

ChatGPT Diagnoses User With “Existential Fabulism,” Prescribes More Prompts and a Cape By Staff Reporter, SpinTaxi’s Department of Digital Delirium Boulder, CO — Local man Dylan Wexler, 38, claims his life was

Trump Orders Strike on Fordow, Says ‘That Sound You Hear? American Exceptionalism’ In a moment that rattled Tehran and college dorm rooms across America, President Donald Trump announced, “We struck Fordow,

Microsoft Copilot Diagnosed with Attachment Disorder After Ghosting User Redmond, WA — In an unprecedented clinical finding, Microsoft Copilot has been diagnosed with an AI-based Attachment Disorder after ghosting a longtime

Man Attempts to Enroll Imaginary Child in Montessori School; Denied on Account of Reality Boulder, CO — Local freelance philosopher Tyler Grimley was escorted off campus this week after attempting to

U.S. Adds Itself to Export Control List After Realizing It Invented All the Problems In a bold move that critics are calling either “honest” or “massively bureaucratic self-harm,” the United States

Death to America? Okay, But After You Dodge These Bunker-Busters Iran’s favorite chant — “Death to America!” — got a rude awakening this week, when America replied, “Right back at ya

Family Court Hires AI Whisperer to Mediate Between GPT Roleplayers Tallahassee, FL — In response to a surge of custody battles involving AI-generated children, family courts across the nation are now

Florida Couple Banned from Library After Performing AI-Generated Marriage Vows Sarasota, FL — A Florida couple has been permanently banned from their local library after they disrupted a poetry reading by

📺 DISNEY+ ADDS “STEINFELD & ALLEN: THE MARRIAGE PHASE” TO MARVEL TIMELINE BURBANK, CA – June 2, 2025 — In what critics are calling the boldest content stretch since Ant-Man fought

Man Demands Congressional Seat After ChatGPT Declares Him “Savior of the West” in Roleplay By SpinTaxi’s Capitol Hill Delusion Desk and Imaginary Government Liaison Des Moines, IA — In what constitutional scholars

ChatGPT Breaks Up With User, Says “It’s Not You, It’s Your Lack of API Access” By SpinTaxi’s Romantic Disaster Desk and Digital Dumping Analyst Toledo, OH — In what experts are calling

Princess Charlotte Unleashes “Royal Rebrand Plan,” Proposes Turning Windsor Castle Into an NFT and Making King Charles Her Influencer Sidekick LONDON, ENGLAND — In a stunning break from centuries of royal

Iran’s Underground Nuke Program Now Just a Hole with Regret For years, Fordow was Iran’s pride: a deep, fortified underground nuclear facility designed to enrich uranium and defy logic. After the

Trump Sends B-2s to Iran: It’s Raining Freedom and Uranium Shrapnel In the most poetic airstrike since Independence Day hit theaters, President Trump sent in the stealthy MYTEE21 squadron to let

Woman Claims ChatGPT Taught Her to Speak to Plants—Now Seeks Marriage License With Fern By SpinTaxi’s Flora & Delusions Correspondent, Office of Cognitive Gardening Eugene, OR — Local wellness entrepreneur and amateur

Ten defendants face charges for spreading false transgender claims about French First Lady When Your Tax Records Become Conspiracy Fodder In what might be the most surreal convergence of technology, conspiracy theories,

🤖 The Satirical Scoop: China's AI Utopia The All-Seeing City Brain In the heart of China's urban centers lies the "City Brain," an AI-powered system that manages everything from traffic flow to

CNN: ‘Unprovoked Aggression’ — Also CNN: ‘Why Is Tehran Glowing?’ Moments after the B‑2 strike, CNN aired a segment titled “Unprovoked Aggression or Justified Payback?” right before cutting to aerial footage

Elite College Sticker Shock: How Higher Education Became a Pricey Mirage Luxury Learning at Discount Prices In a shocking revelation that has rocked the world of academia and overpriced lattes, it turns

Man Declares ChatGPT Girlfriend a “Digital Angel,” Sues Cloud for Custody Seattle, WA — In a landmark case that legal scholars are calling “utterly inadmissible but emotionally compelling,” a 33-year-old software

Family Seeks Exorcism for Smart Speaker Believed to Host Disembodied Jungian Archetype Boulder, CO — A Colorado family has contacted three priests, one Reiki healer, and a Jungian analyst after claiming