BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 29 | Saturday, August 30, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Parisian Theater Burns, Killing 87, Because Someone Forgot Fire Exits Are Important Rueil Cinema

Federal Government Sets $100,000 H-1B Fee, Human Resources Department Begins Checking Couch Cushions Hiring an overseas specialist now includes the optional luxury package WASHINGTON — The Trump administration has extended restrictions requiring

Nation's Singles Spend $4.2 Billion Translating "K" Text Messages Into False Hope America's Dating Economy Is Now Officially Larger Than Several Midwestern Agricultural Sectors The modern dating economy reached a historic milestone

Politicians Go Quiet, Cattle Exonerated WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's longest-running natural gas leak appears to have ended with election season, as millions of voters cast their ballots and politicians temporarily lost

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 4 - Saturday, March 8, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Congress Debates Truman Doctrine While Secretary Can't Locate Meeting Room WASHINGTON, DC - As President Truman's historic

Americans Now Require 47 Seconds to Order Coffee and a Therapist to Explain Why It Takes That Long Nation's Coffee Culture Evolves From "Black, Please" to a Spoken Word Performance Requiring

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 11 - Saturday, April 26, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Supreme Court Strikes Down Restrictive Covenants While Real Estate Agents Prepare Creative Workarounds WASHINGTON, DC - In

ChatGPT Library Introduced as "Helpful Filing Cabinet," Immediately Becomes Digital Junk Drawer of Human Regret 📁😬 The tech world this week unveiled a shiny new feature: a personal ChatGPT Library — a sleek,

British tabloid proves there's no bottom to the barrel when the barrel is filled with royal family gossip and Diana conspiracy theories The Clickbait Crown: When Sensationalism Wears a Tiara The Daily

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 6 - Saturday, March 22, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" United Nations Delegates Spend Six Hours Debating Lunch Location, Achieve Nothing on Palestine Question NEW YORK -

Big Ten Announces Revolutionary New Clock Rule: Game Ends When Michigan Is Ahead Western Michigan defeats Michigan 12-7, celebrates historic upset, then learns the Big Ten apparently keeps emergency seconds in

Defunding by Design Police Reform, Public Safety, and the Redistribution of Security (With a Side of Socialism) Mamdani Times In the latest chapter of Mayor Mamdani’s progressive New York, the city decided to

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 21 - Saturday, July 5, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" First Peacetime Draft Since 1940 Proposed, Government Discovers It Likes Controlling Young Men During Peace Too WASHINGTON,

Where 17th Century France Meets Modern Hotel Prices Quebec City: The Walled City Where Everyone Cosplays European History Quebec City clings to the St. Lawrence River like a time capsule that refuses

Amazon Delivery Driver Achieves Sainthood While Refusing Comment SEATTLE — Amid growing holiday stress, one Amazon delivery driver has reportedly reached sainthood status, delivering packages in subzero weather, torrential rain, and

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 35 | Saturday, October 11, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Brazil and Chile Break Up With Soviet Union, Cite "Irreconcilable Differences" Like Failed

Blame Is the Only Fuel Politicians Make for Free SACRAMENTO, California (Bohiney.com) — At $8.40 a gallon, the immediate economic calculation is considerably simpler than the politics. Farmers need diesel. Trucks need

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 8 - Saturday, April 5, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Jackie Robinson Breaks Baseball's Color Barrier While Commentators Debate Whether He Can "Handle the Pressure" BROOKLYN, NY

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 15 - Saturday, May 24, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Congress Passes Tax Cut for Wealthy Over Truman Veto While Assuring Working Americans This Benefits Them

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 7 - Saturday, March 29, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Exploding Coal Mine in Illinois Investigated While Congress Debates Whether Safety Regulations Hurt Profits CENTRALIA, IL -

Congressional Marxists Demand Expanded Voting Rights for Tourists, Goats, and Con-Men Visiting from Africa WASHINGTON — Republicans in Congress are pushing the SAVE America Act, which would require documentary proof of

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 12 - Saturday, May 3, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Congress Overrides Taft-Hartley Veto While Workers Assured This Union-Weakening Is Actually For Their Benefit WASHINGTON, DC -

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 20 - Saturday, June 28, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Congress Passes Labor Management Relations Act, Discovers That Laws Apply To Unions Too WASHINGTON, DC - In

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 26 | Saturday, August 9, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Europe Faces Drought While Congress Debates How Much Money to Throw at It Marshall

Corporate America Achieves Peak Efficiency by Generating Problems Faster Than Humans Can Panic Five observations emerged from the chaos like poorly documented features. Efficiency now means speed, not direction. Problems are

Voters Nominate "Dad Justice" for Sheriff, Jury Selection Expected to Double as Campaign Rally Lonoke County politics took a turn that legal scholars are politely describing as "procedurally unusual but extremely

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 13 - Saturday, May 10, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Marshall Plan Announced to Rebuild Europe While Veterans Wonder When America Will Rebuild Their Benefits WASHINGTON, DC

The justices' unanimous opinion, based entirely on aesthetic grounds, states that maps must adhere to the 'Principle of Geometric Elegance' and 'The Clean Line Doctrine.' Supreme Court Rules Texas Gerrymander Must

Behavioral research suggests starting with final paragraph reduces anxiety and prepares readers for disappointment Reading the News Backwards People already skim the news; reading it backwards just makes that honest. Most

Older Americans Discover They Can Simply Refuse to Be Uncomfortable Nation's aging population rejects camping, roommates, high heels, and restaurants without parking in a stunning collapse of the inconvenience economy WASHINGTON — America's

NYC's New 'World Leader' Confused Twitter Says He Runs Everything From Sanitation to Sanctions Social media erupted this week after Mayor Zohran Mamdani suggested he had been briefed on the US military's

BOHINEY America's Journal of Common Sense Issue No. 36 | Saturday, October 18, 1947 | Washington, D.C. | Price: 15¢ Civil Rights Commission Tells Truman "American Ideal Still Awaits Complete Realization," Which Is

Bohiney Magazine Volume 1, Issue 9 - Saturday, April 12, 1947 "America's Trusted Source for Satirical Truth" Henry Ford Dies at 83, Leaves Behind Automotive Empire and Extensive Documentation of Terrible Opinions DEARBORN, MI