I’m not messy, I just exist outside of linear time. (Hasn’t cleaned since the last equinox.)
Cluttered, But Make It Cosmic
When Dust Is Sacred
“I’m not messy, I just exist outside of linear time,” they explain, lighting incense on a stack of unopened mail and insisting their kitchen sink is “in retrograde.”
Funny Evidence from the Temporal Disorder Tribe
One person blamed their dishes on “time not vibing with soap.” Another said they only sweep during eclipses “for karmic alignment.”
Quote from a Chrono-Spiritual Aesthete
“Cleanliness is a capitalist illusion,” said Spirita Flux. “My socks are scattered across dimensions, not the hallway.”
Satirical Snapshot
They journal in dust bunnies, stack spiritual junk mail into pyramids, and call their junk drawer “a sacred entropy capsule.”
Conclusion: Time May Be a Construct–But So Is Mold
You can reject the calendar, but not basic sanitation.
For more existential messes, manifest moplessly at bohiney.com
