Pledge Drive or Die: Extreme Fundraising Stunts

Beyond the Tote Bag:

With traditional funding gone, public broadcasters have kicked their fundraising into overdrive – and out of the box. Remember the quaint days of PBS pledge drives, where a polite host offered you a logo tote bag or a Downton Abbey DVD in exchange for a donation? Those days are toast. Now it’s pledge drive 2.0, and it’s wild. One local PBS station started a 24-hour “Telethon of Tantamount Terror” in which beloved children’s characters agreed to do outrageous stunts as fundraising goals were met. Witness the spectacle: at $50,000 raised, the station’s mild-mannered weatherman chugs an entire bottle of maple syrup on live TV. At $100,000, the morning yoga show host attempts a Guinness World Record for longest tree pose while reciting the U.S. Constitution. And the big goal – $500,000 – promised to make the station manager get a full-color tattoo of the PBS logo on his chest during primetime. (He nervously joked, “It’s for the team, I guess. At least the logo is kind of cool?”) Pledge breaks have turned into a bizarre cross between Jackass and Masterpiece Theatre, and viewers can’t look away.

Over on public radio, one enterprising NPR affiliate announced a special “No-Pledge Pledge Drive.” The deal: if listeners collectively donated $100,000 by midnight, the station promised not to air any pledge drive segments for a whole year. Donations poured in as if it were the Radio Ransom of the century. “Take my money, just don’t make me listen to a week of guilt trips and pan flute music,” pleaded one listener in a note accompanying her check. The station met the goal in hours. (There’s talk of extending the model: next, they might promise to nix all underwriting acknowledgments if donors pony up enough cash. Essentially, pay to keep the airwaves mercifully quiet and ad-free – the ultimate public radio fantasy.)

Naming Rights Gone Wild:

Desperate times call for creative measures. PBS has begun auctioning off naming rights to just about anything that isn’t nailed down. The venerable PBS NewsHour is temporarily rebranded as “The SleepyTime Mattress NewsHour” every time a mattress company chips in a big donation. Viewers were amused to hear the serious newscaster intone, “This is the SleepyTime NewsHour, and I’m Judy Woodruff, coming to you thanks to a good night’s sleep.” Meanwhile, the iconic clock in the Downton Abbey opening credits was “brought to you by Timely Timex” in a special rerun fundraiser. A particularly deep-pocketed donor bought the rights to have Nature present a documentary on his pet cat, Sir Fluffington, resulting in the most indulgent hour of television ever aired (but hey, $1 million to PBS!). Even local stations are getting in on it: the small-town Farm Report on a Kansas public radio station is now “Farm Report, presented by Old MacDonald’s Free-Range Eggs” – complete with a jingle where E-I-E-I-O becomes an earworm.

Then there are the corporate challenges: think of it as Kickstarter-meets-Fear Factor. One public TV station live-streamed a “SavetheStation” fundraiser where, for every $10,000 donated, a different executive agreed to wear a full-body penguin costume on a hot summer day and hand-deliver PBS Kids DVDs to random donors’ homes. Another station promised that if they hit their $1 million goal, the entire board of directors would reenact Hamlet with Muppets on ice skates. (Ticket sales to that spectacle might fund the next decade alone.)

Spectacle and Success:

Surprisingly, these extreme tactics are working. A parody statistical report from Nationwide Unusual Fundraising Bureau (N.U.F.B.) claims that stations using “outrageous incentive schemes” saw a 200% increase in donations versus boring old pledge drives. It turns out people enjoy giving when there’s a side of schadenfreude – who wouldn’t pay to see their buttoned-up local anchor get a pie to the face? Fake testimonials roll in by the dozens: “I gave $20 just to watch the station CEO kiss a pig on live TV – best money I ever spent,” said “Joe from Springfield” in a staged call-in. A dubious “scientific” study from the Institute of Broadcast Peculiarities concluded that humans have an innate desire to support public media if they can also witness minor humiliation of authority figures. (This might also explain the internet.)

Even the government took notice of these antics. One fictional congressman was overheard saying, “If they’d just asked nicely like this before, we’d have funded them double!” – which suggests Washington has a very strange idea of “nice.” In any case, PBS and NPR have proven they won’t go down without a laugh. Whether it’s Big Bird skydiving with a pledge thermometer strapped to his chest, or an NPR host auctioning off the chance to choose the next Tiny Desk Concert performer, public broadcasting is pulling out all the stops. Sure, it’s a little absurd, a touch undignified, but as the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate fun. Grab your popcorn (pledge $100 or more for a commemorative popcorn bowl) and enjoy the show-behind-the-shows – it’s fundraising time, and it’s truly must-see public TV/radio.