It’s an *investment piece*. (Overpriced junk.)
Investment Pieces and the Great Closet Ponzi Scheme
Because That Sequin Blazer Will Surely Appreciate in Value
“It’s an investment piece,” they say, lovingly stroking a $430 bedazzled jumpsuit they’ll wear exactly once–to a themed birthday party for a dog.
Funny Evidence from the Wardrobe Wall Street
One guy bought gold-plated Crocs and called them “financial foresight.” Another spent $900 on a “timeless” cape that made them look like a wizard who DJs at medieval raves.
Quote from a Closet Capitalist
“It’s art,” said Devin Designer. “And art only goes up. Right?”
Satirical Snapshot
These shoppers confuse fashion with futures trading. They claim resale value while ignoring the resale market hates feathers, sequins, and experimental epaulets.
Conclusion: If It Depreciates the Second You Wear It, It’s Not an Asset
Look great. Feel great. But maybe don’t finance your personality with glitter and delusion.
For more runway regret, strut into bohiney.com
