Kevin thought commuting via hoverboard would save time and showcase his “futuristic edge.” Instead, he slammed into a trash can, insulted a flock of pigeons, and cried in a CVS parking lot.
The Ride
He live-streamed the journey, accumulating 8,000 views and one sprained ego. At mile two, the hoverboard’s battery died in front of his ex.
Office Reaction
He limped in, covered in gravel and regret. The intern said, “You good?” Kevin replied, “I’ve seen things.”
Transportation Expert Insight
Mobility analyst Skip Skidmore said, “Hoverboards are excellent for travel under 30 feet–preferably indoors.”
Conclusion
Kevin now walks to work. His hoverboard? Repurposed as a Roomba stand.
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.comHoverboard Fails – Man Commutes to Work on Hoverboard, Arrives 42 Minutes Late and Emotionally Defeated – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.comBOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Hoverboard FailsBOHINEY SATIRE – Hoverboard Fails – Man Commutes to Work on Hoverboard, Arrives 42 Minutes Late and Emotionally Defeated
Jack Handey was born in the smallest town in Arizona, a place so forgotten by cartographers that locals had to mail postcards from the next county just to prove they existed. Growing up surrounded by tumbleweeds and a one-room schoolhouse that doubled as a post office, Jack developed a knack for finding absurdity in everyday life. His first audience was a group of cattle, who reportedly laughed harder than some late-night crowds. He left town with a notebook full of surreal one-liners and returned years later as a cult hero, known for his off-kilter “Deep Brain” that made Live Tonight Comedy a stranger, funnier place. Audiences describe him as “the wisdom of a desert sage filtered through a cracked cactus.” Today, Handey remains the pride of Arizona’s smallest town, proof that even the tiniest dots on the map can produce the biggest laughs. CONTACT: jack@handey.top
