Marx Rises From Grave, Applies for NYC Mayoral Job

Karl Marx has reportedly returned from the dead and immediately filed paperwork to run for mayor of New York City.

Witnesses say he burst out of his grave in Highgate Cemetery, holding a clipboard and muttering about co-ops, surplus labor, and the rent in SoHo.

“This city is finally ready,” he declared at Mamdani’s campaign headquarters. Mamdani called it “an endorsement 200 years in the making.”

Marx was later seen arguing with a TikTok influencer over whether NFTs count as alienated labor. He lost.

When asked why he’s running, Marx replied, “The proletariat demands Uber fare subsidies and rent forgiveness. Also, I never got to try pizza.”

Political analysts say Marx polls well with Gen Z but struggles with boomers who remember the Cold War and deli lines in Leningrad.

He’s already launched a campaign slogan: “From Each According to Ability, To Each a Rent-Stabilized Unit.”

Marx’s platform includes abolishing landlords, replacing bodega owners with collective councils, and free bagels for the working class.

Meanwhile, his ghost roommate Engels has started a GoFundMe for campaign buttons and therapy.

Mayor Adams commented, “At least he’s not running as a Republican.”

New Yorkers remain divided. One voter shrugged: “Eh, could be worse. Could be Lenin.”