Meghan Markle, Tech Disruptor: Inventor of MeghanCoin

Introduction

Silicon Valley thought it had seen every ridiculous startup. Then Meghan Markle declared herself a tech disruptor. According to leaked PR decks, she’s invented MeghanCoin, a cryptocurrency mined exclusively through interviews about the royal family.

Forget Bitcoin, Ethereum, or Dogecoin—MeghanCoin runs on a blockchain of grievances.

Humorous Observations

• MeghanCoin doesn’t fluctuate with the market. It fluctuates with her mood.

• Investors can only purchase it by watching her Netflix specials twice.

• Mining MeghanCoin requires repeating: “She’s misunderstood,” into a microphone until your throat closes.

• Unlike other cryptocurrencies, MeghanCoin has no white paper—just a 40-page monologue about “authenticity.”

• Transactions are confirmed not by algorithms, but by Oprah nodding silently.

What the Funny People Are Saying

“Meghan invented a coin? Great. Just what we need—another token nobody wants.” — Jerry Seinfeld

“They say Bitcoin wastes energy. MeghanCoin wastes patience.” — Ron White

“At least Dogecoin has a funny dog. MeghanCoin’s mascot is just Harry looking tired.” — Bill Burr

Satirical Journalism Section

At the MeghanCoin launch event in Palo Alto, guests were greeted with champagne flutes filled with “digital authenticity.” Meghan took the stage in a sequined pantsuit and declared:
“Money has always been too private. MeghanCoin makes it public. Like me.”

Attendees received starter packs:

• One candle labeled Financial Resilience.

• A yoga mat autographed “For early adopters only.”

• And an NFT of Meghan sighing.

Expert Analysis

Dr. Bernard Lasker, an economist at Stanford, explained:
“Every cryptocurrency promises innovation. MeghanCoin promises to drain your wallet while delivering self-pity in high resolution.”

A leaked investor memo revealed her tech partners as:

• A former WeWork intern,

• Harry (title: “Chief Redhead Officer”),

• And a golden retriever who “tested” the app by biting the charger.

Public Reaction Poll

Bohiney Magazine surveyed 1,000 Americans:
Would you invest in MeghanCoin?

• 45%: No, I’d rather burn cash for warmth.

• 30%: Maybe, if Oprah guarantees returns.

• 20%: Yes, because scams are trending.

• 5%: Already did, and now my bank account cries at night.

Archival Evidence

Grainy cellphone footage showed Meghan explaining blockchain:
“It’s like the royal family, but transparent and decentralized. Except I’m still in charge.”

Harry, standing behind her, appeared to mouth the words: “Help me.”

The Punchline Ending

Asked how MeghanCoin differs from Bitcoin, Meghan smiled:
“Bitcoin is mined with computers. MeghanCoin is mined with tears.”

Disclaimer

This article is satire. Meghan Markle has not yet launched MeghanCoin—though given her track record, Coinbase should prepare for it.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.