I’m not clingy, I’m just loyal to a fault. (Texts “where r u” during your nap.)

Ride-or-Die and Slightly Unhinged

Loyalty or Emotional Surveillance?

“I’m not clingy, I’m just loyal to a fault,” they say, after sending 12 “thinking of you” texts and pinning your location on a vision board labeled “forever or else.”

Funny Evidence from the Sentimental Spy School

One person called 911 because their date didn’t respond for 22 minutes. Another mailed a playlist and a tooth to “strengthen the bond.”

Quote from an Affectionate Overachiever

“I just care hard,” said Clingy Bae. “And if I don’t hear from you, I assume you’re either dead or cheating–or both.”

Satirical Snapshot

They believe love should be tracked, backed up, and watermarked. Their relationship status is “actively refreshing your last seen.”

Conclusion: Loyalty’s Great–But Maybe Let Me Pee Alone

If your commitment requires GPS, maybe revisit what trust means.

For more emotional overreach, stalk your soul gently at bohiney.com