He doesn’t bite. (He bites.)
The Bite Denier’s Club: Teeth and Lies
Love Nibbles, Lawsuits, and Loose Band-Aids
“He doesn’t bite,” they say confidently, moments before their Yorkie launches a surprise ankle assault on a delivery guy just trying to survive capitalism.
Funny Evidence from the Jaws of Denial
One guy swore his bulldog was “a gentle giant” until it bit the corner off a skateboard and then went after a priest. Another claimed “he only bites people he doesn’t like”–which, as it turned out, included all of humanity.
Quote from a Tooth-Tolerant Owner
“It’s how he shows affection,” said Maya Chompwell, bandaging a neighbor’s leg. “He’s part terrier, part misunderstood poet.”
Satirical Snapshot
These people confuse aggression with charisma. If their dog growled at the moon, they’d call it “expressive howling.”
Conclusion: If He’s Drawn Blood More Than Once, He’s Not Flirting
It’s okay to love your pup. But also, maybe post a warning sign and hand out tetanus pamphlets with the holiday cookies.
For more toothsome tales, bark over to bohiney.com
