Chicago Ad Executive from 1953 Memoir: ‘We Didn’t Invent Ronald, We Revived Him’ — Claims Decision Based on Antique Poster ‘That Felt Alive When You Touched It’

By Alan Nafzger — Bohiney Advertising Necromancy Desk

CHICAGO, IL — A dusty 1953 memoir titled Caffeine & Carnivals: My Life in Copywriting has re-emerged in estate-sale bins and promptly sent adland into existential crisis. Its author, Madison Avenue veteran and noted bourbon enthusiast Reuben “Red” Slayton, casually recounts how the early McDonald’s branding team based their smiling mascot not on whimsy — but on a “poster that made the room colder.”

Slayton writes:

“The poster came from a box of Midwestern crap some intern bought for five bucks. Red coat. Yellow vest. Smile so wide you could park a Buick in it. Everyone laughed. Until we touched it.”

He describes “a faint scent of yeast and varnish” and the unsettling sensation that the poster’s figure “didn’t blink, but was definitely aware.”

The memo reveals the agency briefly considered naming the mascot The Bread Man before reverting to Ronald McDonald — allegedly because that name was already written on the back of the poster. In red pencil.

Other selections from Slayton’s memoir are equally unnerving:

“The kid actors kept passing out. The makeup mirror fogged when Ronald’s name was said aloud. One secretary refused to type the R-word after the third lightbulb burst in the room.”

Marketing materials from 1955 describe Ronald as “familiar, friendly, and American as bread.” Internally, though, Slayton admits, “none of us ever stood alone with the costume.”

When asked about the memoir’s claims, a McDonald’s media representative stated:

“We honor our past with smiles, not ghost stories. Any mention of posters that ‘looked back’ is purely the author’s flair.”

Slayton died in 1960, reportedly mid-laugh — alone, in a locked office, next to the poster.

It was rolled up when he entered.

Unrolled when he was found.