Obsessive Journaling
“I Just Wanted Catharsis. Instead, I Became Evidence.”
When Meredith Bloom began journaling daily in 2003, she didn’t expect her meticulous habit to become the linchpin in a small claims case involving unauthorized leaf blower usage, boundary disputes, and one unusually aggressive garden gnome.
“I write everything,” Meredith said, flipping through Journal #17, which contains color-coded entries on her neighbor Doug’s gas-powered noise terrorism. “If he sneezes near my begonias, it goes in the log.”
Lawyers for both parties were stunned when she presented 24 spiral-bound volumes, one moleskine, and a Post-it archive titled *Passive-Aggressive Gusts: A Retrospective.*
“She was more organized than our municipal archives,” said Judge Harlan Fisher. “Frankly, I fear her.”
Doug was fined $250 and ordered to attend “Community Harmony Through Quieter Blowing” classes.
Meredith now sells decorative binders labeled *Journaling Is Just Lawsuit Preparation.* Her Etsy store slogan: “Write It Down. You Never Know.”
Fans have begun mailing her their disputes for documentation. She’s considering franchising.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
