We’re like a family here (part two — the potluck episode)
We’re Like a Family–So Bring Your Own Fork and 3 Forms of Emotional Damage
We’re Like a Family–So Bring Your Own Fork and 3 Forms of Emotional Damage
Welcome to the office potluck, where the team pretends to be a loving family while glaring at each other’s lukewarm casseroles. There’s always that one guy who brings napkins and says “they’re essential,” and Brenda who swears her broccoli salad “has personality.”
The Dysfunctional Dish Lineup
Lisa brought a lasagna with mysterious ingredients. Everyone suspects it’s just passive aggression baked at 375°F. Meanwhile, Gary made “fusion” deviled eggs no one asked for.
Comedian Commentary
“Nothing says ‘we’re like a family’ like splitting a Costco cake and a collective sense of dread,” joked stand-up comic Rudy Pike. “Who made the unseasoned meatballs? Oh, right–management.”
Satirical Office Study
The Workplace Potluck Index confirms that 67% of employees use the potluck as a passive-aggressive battleground. One woman allegedly brought peanut-laced brownies to subtly target an allergy-prone intern.
Funny Eyewitness
“Someone brought gas station sushi,” said one staffer. “I reported it to HR. They made me eat it to prove a point.”
Family Feud, Corporate Edition
Jan from Accounting argued over who got the last serving of chili like it was a will dispute. The microwave exploded. Todd filmed it.
Conclusion
Next time your workplace says “we’re like a family,” ask yourself: is it the Brady Bunch, or more like an episode of *Kitchen Nightmares*?
Digest more dysfunctional bonding at bohiney.com.
