I’m not racist, but… (proceeds to say something racist)

I’m Not Racist, But…: The Most Reliable Racism Forecasting Tool on Earth

When You Hear the Disclaimer, Brace for Impact

Much like a tornado siren warns of swirling destruction, the phrase “I’m not racist, but…” is your auditory clue to immediately duck, cover, and prepare for incoming bigotry disguised as a folksy anecdote.

Funny Evidence from Every Backyard BBQ Ever

One man opened with, “I’m not racist, but I just think everyone should stick to their own kind… like zoo animals.” He then offered coleslaw and asked to borrow jumper cables.

Quote from a Walking Red Flag

“I don’t see color,” said Becky Awkwardhug, “unless I’m choosing curtains. Or voting. Or hiring.”

Observational Satire

This phrase is often followed by the person insisting they have “a Black friend,” “dated someone spicy once,” or “watched every Tyler Perry movie.” As if that grants them a passport to prejudicial purgatory.

Comedian Perspective

“If you have to say ‘I’m not racist,’ you’ve already lost,” said comic DeAndre Flex. “It’s like saying ‘I’m not a thief, but I’m taking your wallet for safety.'”

Conclusion: Words Matter, Especially the Dumb Ones

We get it–racism is bad PR. But pretending to be neutral while spreading stereotypes isn’t neutrality. It’s just sneakier racism with a cardigan on.

For more euphemistic delusion, shuffle uncomfortably over to bohiney.com