I’m not flaky, I’m just protecting my personal brand. (Only shows up for photo ops.)
Inconsistent, But Make It Aesthetic
When Reliability Conflicts with the Feed
“I’m not flaky, I’m just protecting my personal brand,” they say, while bailing on your birthday but appearing in three rooftop brunch reels that same afternoon–hashtagged #DeeplyPrivate.
Funny Evidence from the Selective Presence Society
One person RSVP’d “yes” to a funeral, then posted a boomerang from a lavender farm during the eulogy. Another wore a ring light to a baby shower “in case content happened.”
Quote from a Commitment Influencer
“My energy is expensive,” said Curata Glow. “And I refuse to spend it on anything that doesn’t fit my grid aesthetic.”
Satirical Snapshot
Their calendar is full of maybe’s, their wardrobe is monochrome, and their love language is “engagement metrics.”
Conclusion: Authenticity Isn’t Measured in Likes–And Your Friends Deserve More Than a Filtered Flake
Show up. Even if the lighting isn’t perfect.
For more filtered friendships, curate responsibly at bohiney.com
