Officials study whether water requires a permit
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIFORNIA – Exceptionally high tides have flooded coastal streets, homes and businesses, prompting Californians to confront a geological problem no zoning commission has successfully resolved: the Pacific Ocean refuses to recognize property boundaries.
King Tide Flooding Hits Both U.S. Coasts
The flooding has reached both American coasts, with beach communities in California, Florida and the Carolinas reporting water in streets, homes and businesses, the Associated Press reported. In Southern California, forecasters tied the surge to a warming ocean that has added volume to the sea. Residents in Huntington Beach stacked sandbags outside their homes. Some got around the flooded streets by paddleboard, demonstrating California’s legendary ability to turn an emergency into a recreational activity.
State planners now face a question ideally suited to bureaucratic ingenuity. If seawater enters a commercial district, is it a natural event, an unlicensed transportation service or a short-term rental occupied by fish? If the ocean remains for more than thirty days, must it register with the county assessor? The California Coastal Commission has authority over the shoreline but has never been asked to rule on the shoreline arriving at the garage.
Emergency Task Force Examines the Ocean’s Paperwork
Bohiney’s Coastal Administrative Observatory assembled an emergency task force consisting of one beach umbrella, three clipboards and a retired lifeguard. It concluded that water had crossed municipal boundaries without submitting environmental-impact paperwork. A proposed response would require each incoming wave to attend a planning meeting, where public comment would be limited to two minutes and splashing prohibited.
What Causes King Tides?
The scientific explanation is simpler. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, king tides occur when the alignment of the Earth, moon and sun produces especially high water levels, and regional weather and ocean temperatures can make flooding worse. The moon pulls on the ocean. The ocean responds. Unlike Sacramento, the moon does not issue a forty-seven-page guidance document explaining why.
The irony is sharp in a state famous for extraordinary real-estate prices. Buyers pay enormous premiums for ocean views, then express understandable dissatisfaction when the view arrives in the garage. Real-estate advertisements may soon distinguish among oceanfront, ocean-adjacent and ocean-currently-in-the-laundry-room properties.
One developer has already proposed converting flooded parking lots into luxury waterfront amenities. The premium package includes valet paddleboarding, submerged charging stations and a complimentary brochure explaining why saltwater damages electric vehicles. Buyers must sign an acknowledgment that their driveway may become a tributary without prior consultation.
Coastal Residents Weigh In
In Bohiney’s street survey, nine of ten residents supported stronger flood defenses. The tenth demanded that the ocean pay for the repairs because, as he explained, “I paid property taxes all year and the Pacific hasn’t paid a dime.” Economists estimated that collecting a utility assessment from the ocean could eliminate the deficit, provided someone could locate its billing address.
Flood Safety Tips for Coastal Homeowners
The serious problem is that repeated coastal flooding can damage homes, disrupt businesses and endanger people. Residents should heed local warnings, avoid driving through flooded roads and understand their flood-insurance coverage. The National Weather Service’s Turn Around, Don’t Drown guidance explains why, and FloodSmart.gov covers insurance basics. Even shallow moving water can turn a car into a very expensive bathtub with leather seats.
Californians are resourceful. Engineers can improve drainage, communities can plan for sea-level risks and families can prepare for extreme tides. None of these solutions requires persuading the Earth to reverse its rotation or compelling Neptune to obtain a building permit.
The Pacific will eventually retreat from many of the flooded streets. Sacramento, meanwhile, has a chance to demonstrate its greatest talent: scheduling a hearing long after the thing under discussion has left the room.
The Evidence File
Exhibit A: Notice of Public Hearing, Office of Coastal Administrative Review
Re: Unpermitted Water, Seaward Side
Hearing date: 90 days from issuance, subject to postponement
Public comment: Two minutes per speaker. Waves may submit written statements. Splashing is not permitted in the hearing room.
Note: This hearing will be rescheduled if the matter under discussion has left the premises.
Exhibit B: Real Estate Listing, Huntington Beach Area
Charming 3-bedroom, 2-bath, ocean-adjacent. Recently updated with ocean in laundry room. Open-concept living space now includes direct water access. Priced to sell, price negotiable depending on tide. Washer and dryer included, currently floating. Buyer to verify elevation.
Exhibit C: Valet Paddleboard Service Invoice
| Service | Charge |
|---|---|
| Valet paddleboard, one block | $40.00 |
| Sandbag, delivered | $12.00 |
| Submerged charging station, 30 min | Not recommended |
| Acknowledgment of tributary status | Signature required |
| Total | $52.00 |
Five Observations From the Beach Towel
- People pay a million dollars for an ocean view. Then the ocean comes inside to see the view from the couch. Now it’s a roommate and it won’t pay rent.
- Paddleboarding down Main Street. In any other state they’d call that an evacuation. In California it’s cardio.
- The moon did this. Not a developer, not a committee. The moon. It’s the only thing in California that doesn’t need a permit and still gets results.
- Sacramento will hold a hearing about the water after the water has left. That’s the most reliable thing about the state. Like a husband arriving after the party.
- My car’s an electric. The ocean’s electric too, I guess. They’re gonna get along great. For about four seconds.
Reporting basis: Associated Press reporting on king tides and coastal flooding.