Retired Iowa Sheriff Claims Grandfather Helped Bury Box of Unused ‘Happy Meal’ Toys in 1903: ‘He Said the Laughter Was Never Coming from the Kids’
By General B.S. Slinger — Bohiney Rural Crime & Legacy Corruption Beat
OTTUMWA, IA — Former Sheriff Randall “Randy” Wickersham, 87, has broken a family silence that stretches back over a century. Sitting beneath a faded quilt in his farmhouse’s sunroom, Wickersham recounted the day his grandfather made him swear never to dig beneath the old Lutheran chapel near the old county fairgrounds.
“He said, ‘Randy, if you hear a toy giggle, you keep walking,’” the former lawman told Bohiney. “I thought it was just old man nonsense. Turns out he wasn’t joking. He buried them.”
According to Wickersham, his grandfather, a groundskeeper and part-time fair barker, assisted a “man in a red coat” in discreetly disposing of a crate of unused “Happy Meal” toys behind the chapel in 1903. The toys were allegedly carved wooden figures with painted smiles, each one sealed inside a paper box bearing a yellow arch-like emblem.
“He said the laughter wasn’t coming from the kids,” Wickersham whispered. “It was coming from the boxes.”
Using old maps and land registry records, local historians confirmed an unmarked plot listed as “Misc. Refuse — Do Not Disturb” just beyond the church fence.
The area was surveyed last year after reports of “small, synchronized tapping sounds” during a church restoration project. Ground-penetrating radar revealed anomalies consistent with shallow wooden containers.
Local authorities declined to excavate, citing lack of criminal evidence and “an overall vibe best left undisturbed.”
McDonald’s did not respond to our inquiry but later tweeted:
“Ronald believes in joy, not digging. 🍟✨ #StillSmiling”
Somewhere under Iowa soil, the boxes wait. Sealed in varnish. Sealed in silence.
