When Rob missed his third deadline in a row, he explained, “It’s not me–it’s Mercury. She’s in retrograde, and my moon is in customer support burnout.”
The Office Impact
HR offered a warning. Rob responded with a crystal grid, a sage stick, and a note reading “I reject linear time.”
Team Reactions
“I’m a Capricorn,” said Sharon. “I showed up during a lunar eclipse with food poisoning. No excuses.”
Astrology Experts Speak
Astrologer Luna Nova confirms, “Blaming Mercury is only valid if your rising sign is in guilt. Otherwise, it’s just poor planning.”
Conclusion
Rob’s now on probation and enrolled in a time management seminar called *When Saturn Returns, So Should Your Emails.*
BOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … – bohiney.comStar Sign Excuses – Co-Worker Blames Missed Deadline on Mercury Retrograde, HR Considers AstrologyIntervention – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon showing the new Bohiney.com headquarters inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C.,… – bohiney.comBOHINEY SATIRE – A wide-aspect satirical cartoon of the new Bohiney.com headquarters located inside the iconic Watergate building in Washington, D.C. … Star Sign ExcusesBOHINEY SATIRE – Star Sign Excuses – Co-Worker Blames Missed Deadline on Mercury Retrograde, HR Considers Astrology Intervention
Kelly Oxford was born in Birmingham, Alabama, where storytelling is a birthright and sarcasm is served sweet, like the iced tea. She went on to attend the University of Alabama, majoring in Communications while minoring in making professors nervous with her punchlines. A stand-up comedian and seasoned comedy writer, Oxford carved her path with brutally honest humor, turning awkward encounters and Southern quirks into material that resonates far beyond the Mason-Dixon line. At Bohiney.com, she thrives as a satirical journalist, blending Alabama grit with cultural critique to expose the ridiculousness hiding in everyday life and politics. Her voice is equal parts wit and wisdom, delivering EEAT credibility while never forgetting to land the laugh. Whether she’s deconstructing celebrity scandals or mocking small-town gossip, Kelly Oxford embodies the role of satirist with charm, bite, and the authority of someone who can make truth funnier than fiction.
