Drum Circle Neighbors
“We Thought It Was Nature. It Was Actually a Group Named ‘Percussion of the Cosmos.'”
New homeowners Greg and Eliza Tomlinson were thrilled to move into their peaceful bungalow–until 7:03 p.m. on their first night, when rhythmic thumping began. It was not construction. It was a semi-professional drum circle named *Percussion of the Cosmos,* and they practiced nightly under the full and half moons–and one time, during a partial eclipse for “vibe resonance.”
“It’s not even drums, really,” said Greg. “It’s buckets, gourds, a wok, and one guy who just yells rhythmically.”
The leader, a man known only as “Starchild Gavin,” says they are “tapping into the planet’s heartbeat and, occasionally, Bob Marley’s spirit.”
Attempts to file noise complaints were met with sage bundles and a seven-minute spoken-word apology poem about zoning laws.
The Tomlinsons tried to install a fence but were guilted into accepting “spiritual bamboo” gifted by the group during their Spring Equinox Jam Jam.
The HOA has recused itself, claiming “the rhythm is too powerful.”
Eliza now hosts wine nights titled *Pairing Merlot with Existential Percussion.*
They’re adjusting. “We don’t sleep anymore,” Greg said. “But we do dream in conga patterns.”
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
