I’ll just *day trade*. (Loses life savings.)

Day Trading for Nightmares: From Stock Market to Sad Market

Buy High, Sell Dignity

“I’m getting into day trading,” they announce, as if the stock market were a video game and their Roth IRA came with cheat codes. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Funny Evidence from the YOLO Finance League

One guy took a “masterclass” on TikTok and put $8,000 into a meme stock called “BananaFi.” Another got margin called during brunch and paid the bill with loose change and tears.

Quote from a Wannabe Wolf of Wall Street

“I’m building generational wealth,” said Trent Margin, moments before his trading app locked him out for “excessive crying.”

Satirical Snapshot

They wake up at 4AM, wear blue-light glasses, and scream “hold the line” while hemorrhaging money faster than a Vegas magician.

Conclusion: Trading Isn’t a Side Hustle If Your Side Is Flat Broke

Study first. Maybe don’t gamble your rent on a stock called “ZorpCoin.” Just a thought.

For more financial faceplants, buy low and laugh high at bohiney.com