The Great Toilet Paper Panic
Kingdom of Charminia
After stockpiling during “the big wipe-out of 2020,” the Hendersons converted their guest room into a soft-walled nation-state complete with TP towers, a bidet moat, and strict import policies.
The Sovereign Situation
“We don’t need your pipes,” declared 12-year-old Prince Charmin IV. “We have double-ply freedom!”
Neighbors Alarmed
The HOA issued a warning after the family attempted to annex the community pool using quilted scrolls and a wet nap cannon.
Economic Concerns
Local economist Dr. Wipey Sheets warns: “Toilet paper has no stable currency rate–unless bartering for Pop-Tarts.”
Conclusion
The Hendersons now trade TP for essentials like Wi-Fi passwords and dignity. UN recognition is pending, but they’ve already blocked Canada with tissue barricades.