The guy who turns every conversation into a podcast pitch
Have You Heard My Podcast? (Because You Will, Whether You Want To or Not)
Have You Heard My Podcast? (Because You Will, Whether You Want To or Not)
You’re at a birthday party, a funeral, or stuck in an elevator. Doesn’t matter–here he comes, the human RSS feed. He’s got a podcast, a ring light, and an urgent need to tell you about his “latest episode on the ethics of oat milk.”
Every Conversation Is Content
He doesn’t ask about your weekend. He asks if you’d like to “hop on the mic and discuss late-stage capitalism in sitcoms.”
Comedian’s Take
“Talking to a podcaster is like being interviewed for a job you never applied for,” said comic Darius Vonn. “I just wanted salsa, not a feature on your vegan series.”
Fake Survey Data
The Society for Conversational Hostage Situations found that 79% of podcasters bring up their show within the first 2.5 minutes of any conversation–faster if you’re holding a craft beer.
Funny Eyewitness
“He pulled out a mic at brunch,” said one survivor. “I was chewing toast and suddenly I’m giving thoughts on cancel culture.”
The Podcast Plague
His podcast has 12 listeners, 108 episodes, and no identifiable theme except “Things I Yell Into My Closet Studio.”
Conclusion
Until further notice, anyone who says “You should come on my podcast” should be legally required to buy you lunch first–or be muted in real life.
More unsolicited pitches archived at bohiney.com.
