Iran Accidentally Discovers Peace While Aiming for Uranium
Iran’s latest uranium enrichment effort took a surprise turn when scientists stumbled upon inner peace during a centrifuge malfunction. “We were trying to weaponize the atom,” one researcher confessed, “but then we just… hugged.”
The revelation sparked a new government program: “Enrich the Soul,” which replaces nuclear labs with therapy goats and jazz meditation. Israel called the initiative “a suspicious distraction,” and fired warning shots shaped like doves.
Washington is unconvinced. “We’re not saying they’ve gone soft,” said one official, “but their missiles now contain glitter.”