HAVANA—In what officials are calling “a bold system reset,” Cuba successfully addressed its ongoing energy crisis this week by unplugging the entire country and waiting a few minutes to see if that helped.

It did not.

Government engineers confirmed that the island experienced a “complete disconnection” of the national electrical system—which in layman’s terms translates to: everything stopped working at once, including the televisions broadcasting the government’s explanation of why everything stopped working at once.

One senior technician reportedly asked, “Have we tried turning the nation off and on again?”—a strategy previously reserved for malfunctioning printers and uncle-owned laptops from 2007.

It was, for the record, the third major nationwide blackout in four months. At this point, Cuba’s power grid isn’t failing so much as maintaining a very consistent policy of darkness.

The Haunted Grid That Time Forgot

Cuba’s power grid, described by experts as “vintage” and by locals as “something a ghost would find inconvenient,” has been operating on a delicate balance of hope, duct tape, and thermoelectric plants that remember the Cold War personally.

Officials insist the system is modern enough.

“We have solar, gas, and thermoelectric,” one spokesperson said proudly, before whispering, “and also candles. A lot of candles. We have a candle guy.”

American University professor William LeoGrande, who has tracked Cuba’s grid for decades, called the technicians keeping it running “magicians.” Which raises an obvious question: if the grid requires magic to function, perhaps the energy ministry should budget for a wand.

Cuba’s thermoelectric plants require roughly 100,000 barrels of oil per day to meet demand. Domestic production covers about 40% of that. The remaining 60% was previously covered by Venezuela, which is currently experiencing its own difficulties, namely being arrested by the United States.

Life Without Electricity: A Philosophical Opportunity

For millions of Cubans, the blackout offered a rare opportunity to reconnect with nature, neighbors, and the terrifying sound of their own thoughts.

Residents reported engaging in traditional activities such as:

• Sitting in the dark
• Sweating philosophically
• Wondering if the refrigerator still counts as “cold” or has simply become a very expensive box
• Explaining to children that this is not camping

In Havana, roughly 5% of residents regained power, leading to widespread celebrations and at least three phone chargers being treated like national monuments. Lines formed. Arguments ensued. One man reportedly wept.

One Havana resident, 71-year-old Mercedes Velazquez, summed it up best: she had recently given away part of a soup she made while it was still fresh, so as not to throw it out. “Everything goes bad,” she said. Including, one assumes, the soup, the patience, and the five-year energy plan.

Government Unveils New Long-Term Energy Strategy: Vibes

Facing fuel shortages and infrastructure older than most of its officials, the Cuban government unveiled a bold new energy plan focused on “positive energy.”

“We are moving away from fossil fuels,” one official explained. “And toward optimism.”

The plan reportedly includes:

• Encouraging citizens to imagine electricity
• Replacing power plants with motivational speeches
• Asking tourists to bring extension cords
• 52 new photovoltaic solar parks, which produced 732 megawatts at peak hours and still did not prevent the complete collapse of the system, which does raise some questions about the math

Renewables currently account for less than five percent of Cuba’s electricity mix, meaning the path from “no lights” to “some lights” is long, winding, and currently unlit.

International Complications and the Oil Problem

The crisis has been meaningfully worsened by the fact that Cuba has not received oil shipments in over three months. This is a significant problem for a country whose power system runs on oil.

“It’s like trying to run a barbecue without charcoal,” said one analyst who asked to remain anonymous, possibly because he was embarrassed by the barbecue metaphor. “Or Congress without drama.”

President Trump, who in January warned of tariffs on any country selling oil to Cuba, suggested Monday that he believes he’ll have the “honor of taking Cuba.” He did not specify whether this included assuming responsibility for the electrical grid, which seems like the less glamorous part of any friendly takeover.

Meanwhile, geopolitical tensions have ensured that any solution will involve at least three countries, four disagreements, one strongly worded statement, and a Canadian aid package of exactly $8 million, which Canada announced with great sincerity.

Public Reaction: Mixed, Mostly Sweaty

Citizens have responded with a combination of frustration and resignation, which is itself a form of renewable energy if harnessed correctly.

Protests have broken out across the island. In the city of Moron—and yes, that is the actual name, and yes, the joke writes itself—demonstrators threw rocks and set fire to the local Communist Party office. The office was apparently unimpressed, having already survived decades of slower-burning catastrophes.

One Havana resident summed up the mood: “At this point, if the lights come back on, I might not trust them.”

Officials remain optimistic that people will eventually “adjust to darkness as a lifestyle,” which is either a governing philosophy or the premise of a prestige drama on HBO.

What the Funny People Are Saying

“I don’t mind a blackout, but when the fridge stops working, now we’re negotiating with yogurt.” — Jerry Seinfeld

“I’ve seen power outages in Texas, but at least we had barbecue and excuses.” — Ron White

“You ever notice governments always say ‘temporary outage’? Like, yeah, my patience is temporarily out too.” — Amy Schumer

“The Cuban government says this is America’s fault. America says it’s Cuba’s fault. The yogurt is not taking sides, but it’s definitely turning.” — Trevor Noah

A Bright Future (Electricity Pending)

Despite the challenges, officials remain hopeful. Plans are underway to restart the grid, modernize infrastructure, and possibly locate electricity.

Until then, Cuba continues its grand experiment in minimalist living, where the lights are off but the irony is fully, completely, magnificently illuminated.

And if all else fails, there’s always Plan B:

Everybody clap at the same time and hope it generates something.

Cuba—officially the world’s largest country running on spite and solar dreams—suffered its third major nationwide blackout in four months on March 16, 2026, after a complete collapse of its national electrical grid left all 11 million residents without power. President Miguel Diaz-Canel has blamed a U.S. energy blockade triggered by President Trump’s January tariff threats, which effectively halted oil shipments from Venezuela and Russia. The thermoelectric plants powering the island are decades old and require roughly 100,000 barrels of oil daily; Cuba produces less than half that domestically. The International Energy Agency notes that renewables account for less than five percent of Cuba’s energy mix. Protests have erupted in multiple cities, including Moron, where demonstrators burned a Communist Party office. Cuba and the United States have reportedly begun diplomatic talks, while Trump has floated the idea of a “friendly takeover” of the island.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!