Local Man Attempts to Vape Fudge, Explodes
In an incident both tragic and deeply sticky, Chad “Cheddar” McDoogle, 28, attempted to vaporize a full square of Hershey fudge using a modified e-cigarette and a hairdryer. Seconds later, his garage was covered in shrapnelized sugar and shattered delusions.
Paramedics report McDoogle’s last words were: “Bro, this is gonna be the next Juul.”
The vape device, nicknamed the “ChocoRipper 9000,” was built using PVC piping, gum wrappers, and a heated bedpan. Investigators found pages of handwritten notes labeled “Flavor Cloud Elevation Strategy.”
Local news captured footage of the scene, including a molten splatter on the wall that eerily resembled a crying Easter bunny. One neighbor said, “It smelled like ambition and marshmallows. Then like failure.”
Authorities are calling this the first official case of “confectionery combustion syndrome.”
McDoogle’s YouTube channel, “DairyTok420,” has since been memorialized by fans with tributes such as “Caramel for Cheddar” bracelets and limited-edition fudge candles.
The Hershey Fire Department issued a stern warning:
“If you can’t pronounce it and it’s melting, don’t inhale it.”
Meanwhile, Wanker has trademarked “Vape Fudge” for a future candy inhaler product line to be launched exclusively on Amazon Prime Day.
SOURCE: Hershey PA