I’m not high-maintenance. (Requires a 23-step latte order.)
Low-Key Diva: Simplicity With a Contract Rider
Just One Request–And 47 Sub-Requests
“I’m not high-maintenance,” they shrug, while handing over a laminated list of dietary restrictions, a preferred lighting guide, and instructions on how to emotionally validate them hourly.
Funny Evidence from the Effortlessly Exhausting
One woman sent back a bottle of water for “not vibing.” A man once canceled a camping trip due to pillow density regulations and “a distrust of wild air.”
Quote from a Barely Basic Diva
“I’m chill,” said Glamma Demands. “I just need my oat milk to be room temperature and my blankets pre-scented with lavender affirmations.”
Satirical Snapshot
They describe themselves as “easygoing” but travel with three diffusers and emotionally fold when a chair squeaks wrong.
Conclusion: If You Need a Team to Relax, Maybe You’re Not Low-Maintenance
It’s okay to have preferences. Just don’t call your daily mood tracker a “spiritual survival tool.”
For more complicated chill, sip your satire at bohiney.com
