Public Bench Philosophers
“He Spoke of Fiber and Destiny. The Pigeons Were Moved.”
By day, Barry Sloman is a retired electrician. By late morning, he becomes “The Oat Prophet,” a public bench philosopher who delivers daily sermons to passing joggers, pigeons, and confused tourists using motivational quotes found under cereal flaps.
“One day I read, ‘Today’s grains are tomorrow’s gains,’ and I knew I’d been chosen,” Barry said, adjusting his robe made of Cheerios boxes.
His talks mix cereal lore, unsolicited life advice, and warnings about almond milk conspiracies. “Captain Crunch is the true philosopher-king,” he insists.
Locals either avoid him or bring offerings of granola and questions about destiny. Barry answers with riddles like, “Are you the spoon or the spill?”
He now has a YouTube channel: *Oat & About*, and was recently invited to speak at a breakfast-themed TEDx event. He declined. “Too corporate.”
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.
