Netflix adding 50 new shows but canceling the one you liked
Netflix Originals: So Many Pilots, So Few Survivors
The Streaming Service with Commitment Issues
Netflix will greenlight anything–until you like it. Then they cancel it faster than your ex’s gym membership. Season 2? Only if the algorithm deems your joy statistically insignificant.
Funny Evidence from the Graveyard of Good Shows
One fan tweeted, “RIP *Midnight Space Pastry,* the only show where I felt alive.” It was canceled after 6.7 episodes and replaced with 14 docuseries about sad dentists.
Quote from a Grieving Viewer
“I just want closure,” said Megan Watchalot. “They ended it on a cliffhanger with a time-traveling dog in mid-bark. Now I’ll never know if he saved 1983.”
Satirical Snapshot
Netflix releases new content faster than anyone can watch it. It’s like drinking from a firehose–except the water tastes like rebooted confusion and regret.
Conclusion: Watch It Fast, Love It Quietly
Don’t get attached. If you like something too much, it’s doomed. Netflix sees your joy and immediately reassigns the cast to “Hosting Travel Shows About Sausage.”
For more binge-and-mourn satire, stream over to bohiney.com
