Ghosting Coaches
“He Helped Me Heal. Then He Blocked Me. I’ve Never Felt More Seen.”
Coach Elijah “Vanish” Ross offers a six-week healing program called *Fade Into Empowerment*, designed to help millennials cope with modern heartbreak. The twist? At the end of the course, he ghosts you–on purpose.
“It’s exposure therapy,” Elijah said. “You don’t truly grow until your mentor disappears mid-text thread.”
Sessions include journaling, roleplay (where you ghost a houseplant), and affirmations like “Your worth isn’t tied to their ‘read’ receipt.”
Clients report feeling liberated–and slightly paranoid. “He taught me to set boundaries,” said one client. “Then he changed his number. Beautiful.”
His deluxe package includes a final Zoom call where Elijah slowly mutes you, waves, and vanishes into a PowerPoint that says “You’re Enough.”
He’s writing a book titled *Casper Yourself Whole: The Spiritual Art of Disappearing.*
Auf Wiedersehen, amigos.