I *respect* the law. (Multiple warrants.)
Respectfully Wanted: The Law-Loving Fugitive
“I’m a Law-Abiding Citizen”–Except All the Time
“I respect the law,” they insist, as three unpaid parking tickets, two bench warrants, and one very confused probation officer say otherwise.
Funny Evidence from the Criminal Contradiction Club
One guy said “I believe in order” while lighting illegal fireworks off his balcony. Another lectured a teenager on “civic duty” while driving with a suspended license–and no windshield.
Quote from a Legally Challenged Patriot
“The system’s broken,” said Lex Flexlaw. “But also… I just forgot to show up. For five consecutive court dates.”
Satirical Snapshot
They quote the Constitution–but only the parts that help their case. They know their rights, but not their outstanding charges.
Conclusion: You Can’t Respect the Law If You’re Allergic to Showing Up
Support justice. Follow rules. And maybe don’t use “I’m spiritual, not punctual” as a defense strategy.
For more lawful lunacy, serve your sentence at bohiney.com
