I’m not self-absorbed. (Talks only about themselves.)
Self-Awareness Sold Separately
The World’s a Mirror and You’re the Frame
“I’m not self-absorbed,” they say, right before launching into a 45-minute saga about their oat milk intolerance and their recent journey through “spiritual TikTok fatigue.”
Funny Evidence from the Main Character Megaphone Club
One person replied to “How are you?” with a slideshow. Another asked you about your dog just to segue into their upcoming memoir, *Barking Up My Own Tree.*
Quote from a Spotlight Addict
“People love stories,” said Echo Narcis. “Especially mine. Also, how do *you* feel about *my* feelings?”
Satirical Snapshot
Their conversations are less dialogue and more personal monologue with light audience participation. Their therapist takes notes for self-defense.
Conclusion: You’re Not a Bad Person–You Just Think Everyone Else Is Background Noise
Empathy isn’t a prop. Try using it. And maybe ask a follow-up question that isn’t “What do you think of me?”
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