Military outfit confirms operation ‘Galactic Energy Audit’ underway
Space Force Establishes “Vibe Perimeter” Around Meteor-X
In an unprecedented move, the United States Space Force has deployed a full battalion to rural Nevada to conduct a “vibe audit” of the mysterious sentient meteorite. General Brice Flanderson told reporters, “We are not here to harm the rock. We are simply assessing its emotional frequency.” Soldiers were spotted setting up chakra scanners, sage-burning stations, and a “Do Not Disturb” force field. TikTok spiritualists cheered the move, while skeptics claimed it was just a cover for desert music festival prep. Meanwhile, Meteor-X has neither emitted signals nor produced any poetry since arrival. Pentagon insiders say the rock’s vibe is currently “lukewarm with hints of judgment.” The mission is expected to last until Mercury exits retrograde.