Five Observations About "Woke Jesus" Politics Church used to be the one place where people argued about the Book of Revelation and casserole recipes. Now it's apparently a campaign office with

Why the Left Needs Amy Schumer to Be Overweight and a Victim Too A Satirical Investigation Into the Political Economy of Feelings, Photos, and Who Is Allowed to Feel Good The modern

Clintons Agree to Testify in Epstein Investigation: Congressional Theater Reaches Peak Performance A satirical look at America's favorite political soap opera The Financial Times recently reported that Bill and Hillary Clinton have agreed

Trump Wins Again: Tom Cruise Learns London Lesson the Hard Way The Prophet of Mar-a-Lago Speaks Years ago, Donald Trump warned that London had become dangerous. Critics laughed. Late night hosts wrote jokes.

Governor Accidentally Builds Presidential Campaign While Looking for Spare Yard Signs HARRISBURG — Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro held what aides described as a "totally normal, extremely local, not at all national" campaign

Don Lemon Accidentally Becomes Patron Saint of "I Was Just Covering It" Somewhere between a church protest, a federal indictment, and a white suit that looked like it had its own

Marxists of Minnesota Versus the America 250 Patch Before the first snap, before the first commercial, before Bad Bunny pirouettes through halftime, the United States' Semiquincentennial had already sparked a culture clash in

Don Lemon Is Now Communist Martyr #1, And The Revolution Will Be Televised, Lit, And Moderated By A Panel A Brief Announcement From The Ministry Of Historical Overreaction History does not always

How Marxists Losing the Internet Is Actually Freedom Winning Let's start with the heart of The Guardian's claim: they argue that digital platforms destroyed traditional "liberal" messaging—though let's be honest, we're talking

The Populist King Trump and the Left's Imaginary Monarchy In a political moment that feels like Game of Thrones got lost in a community college lecture hall, the United States finds itself both

Trump Gets Credit for "Momentous Moment" American Moment; America Buys 10,000 Flags to Celebrate A Playful Victory Lap Through a 'Highly Polarized' Age That Somehow Made Trump Look Good In what analysts

Venezuelan President Confuses Airstrikes With Party Favors as White House Communicates Through Dessert Metaphors Maduro Mistakes US Military Strikes for Surprise Birthday Parade While Trump Tweets "Where's the Cake" Bohiney.com has learned

Navigating the Minnesota Scandal Circus Welcome to the Wonderland of Contradictions Imagine a political universe where every time something doesn't add up, you simply say it didn't happen and then weigh in

🍗 Mar-a-Lago Christmas Spectacle Turns Into Domestic Reality Show In what the Times of India called "a tense moment at Mar-a-Lago Christmas Eve dinner," Melania Trump delivered a seven-word remark to Donald Trump

Can Democrats Reinvent Themselves as Washington Disrupters? Let's Watch How that Works with the Tax Refunds WASHINGTON—Democrats have apparently decided that the country needs more disruption, which, in D.C. parlance, translates to

🎄 Mar-a-Lago Christmas Eve: The Seven Words That Could End Civilization Mar-a-Lago, usually a palace of gold-plated golf carts and overpriced shrimp cocktails, became a stage for human drama that rivaled

The Back of the Baseball Card: Why California's Governor Needs a Reality Check on His Stats In baseball, nobody cares that Derek Jeter had magnificent hair. They cared that he had

Gulf of America: The Big Splash of Trump's Latest Idea By Chuck "Tidal Wave" Rogers President-elect Donald Trump has once again made waves, but this time it’s not with his Twitter account.

Democrats’ Struggles and Internal Conflicts The Democratic Party's recent trajectory resembles a sitcom where the characters can't decide if they're in a drama or a comedy. The internal tug-of-war between progressives

Trump Retakes Press Secretary's Fireplace Office — Promises More 'Warm' Statements By Chloe Summers | Bohiney Magazine Palm Beach, FL — Former President Donald J. Trump has reportedly "retaken" the Press Secretary's small

Trump's African Safari: A Diplomatic Masterclass or a Gaffe-Filled Safari? Why the Elephants Are Laughing and the Giraffes Are Rolling Their Eyes at Trump's Tour Nairobi, Kenya The former U.S. president’s African tour

The Twain Train: A Journey Through Humanity’s Most Ridiculous Realities Civilization’s Comedy of Errors Why We’ll Never Learn (and That’s Hilarious) Mark Twain once said, "Humor is mankind's greatest blessing." With this philosophy,

Hedge Fund Manager's Revolutionary Approach Blends Traditional Finance With Mystical Card Interpretation Unconventional Methods Promise Market Revolution Prominent hedge fund manager Scott Bessent revealed his highly anticipated economic recovery strategy Tuesday at

Tonight on NKTV: The Glorious Leader Teaches Kittens to Code By Special Correspondents at BOHINEY Magazine – The World's Last Independent Outlet With a Working Printer In a televised event so surreal

A Bold Stand Against the Terrifying Threat of Extra Letters The Executive Order That Finally Protects Women… From Grammar By Mindy Finklestien-Knockers Trump just declared war on pronouns. Somewhere in a government office,

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky The EU, USAID, and the Ironic World of Political Funding In a move that seems to blur the lines between candid confession and surreal self-parody, Ukrainian President Volodymyr

The Ultimate Showdown: Marcos vs. Duterte in the Political Cage Match of the Century The Tale of Two Dynasties In the vibrant archipelago of the Philippines, where jeepneys color the streets and

First Lady Clarifies Her Role Involves 'Minimal State Governance, Maximum Crisis Management' Elysee Palace Addresses Leadership Questions In an unexpected press conference at the Elysee Palace, French First Lady Brigitte Macron firmly

NATO Prepares for Trump 2.0: The Alliance Goes Golf Cart Ready By Francine Fairplay, Senior Correspondent for Global Giggles As whispers of a potential second term for former President Donald Trump ripple

Diplomacy Now Includes Board Games and Snacks Instead of Nuclear Codes U.S. and Russia Negotiate Prisoner Swap Using Snacks and Board Games Sources report that U.S. and Russian negotiators are quietly discussing

Hamas: The Bullies of the Middle East Playground If Hamas were a kid on the playground, they’d be the ones stealing lunch money and then blaming the other kids for being

Vance to Europe: “The Real Threat is…You!”—Europeans Shocked to Learn They Are Their Own Worst Enemy EU Leaders Scramble to Fortify Against Themselves in Wake of Vance's Speech By Buckley J. Irony

Now Working at McDonald's, Marxist Homosexual Don Lemon Says to Megyn Kelly: Tell Your Man to Stop Looking at My Man The Feud Between Media Personalities Heats Up as Lemon Calls