Tonight on NKTV: The Glorious Leader Teaches Kittens to Code By Special Correspondents at BOHINEY Magazine – The World's Last Independent Outlet With a Working Printer In a televised event so surreal

A Bold Stand Against the Terrifying Threat of Extra Letters The Executive Order That Finally Protects Women… From Grammar By Mindy Finklestien-Knockers Trump just declared war on pronouns. Somewhere in a government office,

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky The EU, USAID, and the Ironic World of Political Funding In a move that seems to blur the lines between candid confession and surreal self-parody, Ukrainian President Volodymyr

The Ultimate Showdown: Marcos vs. Duterte in the Political Cage Match of the Century The Tale of Two Dynasties In the vibrant archipelago of the Philippines, where jeepneys color the streets and

First Lady Clarifies Her Role Involves 'Minimal State Governance, Maximum Crisis Management' Elysee Palace Addresses Leadership Questions In an unexpected press conference at the Elysee Palace, French First Lady Brigitte Macron firmly

NATO Prepares for Trump 2.0: The Alliance Goes Golf Cart Ready By Francine Fairplay, Senior Correspondent for Global Giggles As whispers of a potential second term for former President Donald Trump ripple

Diplomacy Now Includes Board Games and Snacks Instead of Nuclear Codes U.S. and Russia Negotiate Prisoner Swap Using Snacks and Board Games Sources report that U.S. and Russian negotiators are quietly discussing

Hamas: The Bullies of the Middle East Playground If Hamas were a kid on the playground, they’d be the ones stealing lunch money and then blaming the other kids for being

Vance to Europe: “The Real Threat is…You!”—Europeans Shocked to Learn They Are Their Own Worst Enemy EU Leaders Scramble to Fortify Against Themselves in Wake of Vance's Speech By Buckley J. Irony

Now Working at McDonald's, Marxist Homosexual Don Lemon Says to Megyn Kelly: Tell Your Man to Stop Looking at My Man The Feud Between Media Personalities Heats Up as Lemon Calls

Zelensky’s American TV Blunder: How One Awkward Meeting That Tanked His $500 Billion Grift Off-Camera Transcript Answers Everything People Are Asking... Washington, D.C.—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, a man who once played a

China’s Revolutionary Psychiatric Breakthrough How Political Dissent Became a Mental Disorder By Paige Turner, Bohiney.com Bureau Chief BEIJING — The Chinese government has long been an innovator in authoritarianism, but its latest advancement

Gaza Strip Developer-in-Chief In a move that has left the world both bewildered and bemused, President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest venture: transforming the war-torn Gaza Strip into the

George Costanza Named Federal Reserve Chairman "Do the Opposite" Becomes National Policy "The Art of Economics Meets the Art of Doing Nothing Right" Written in Washington, D.C., by Victor Spoofington III Washington, D.C. –

Venezuela's Political Circus: Maduro's Third Act Nicolás Maduro, the man who has mastered the art of clinging to power like gum to a shoe, is gearing up for another term as

Did Iran Hack Trump’s Campaign? A Satirical Investigation into Cyber Espionage and Covfefe Phishing for Politics: How Iran’s Hack Revealed More Spam Than Secrets The Password Guessing Game: How Easy Was It? In

America’s ‘Soup Kitchen’ Status Suspended by the United Nations A Tragic Blow to Global Begging Rights NEW YORK CITY—In a shocking development, the United Nations has officially suspended America’s long-standing ‘Soup Kitchen’

The Holy Smackdown: Tom Homan vs. The Articulate Pope A Week-Long War of Words Escalates into a WWE-Style Verbal Cage Match In a recent exchange, former ICE Director Tom Homan responded to

Gulf of Mexico Rebranded as ‘Gulf of America’ to Make Geography Great Again A Bold Move in Water Ownership: Because America Now Names Everything In a move that historians are calling “bold”

Gaza Ceasefire Negotiations Stall Over Last Falafel: A Culinary Diplomatic Crisis When Peace Talks Meet Street Food Politics In what may be the most unusual stumbling block in Middle Eastern peace negotiations,

Tariffs Are Just a Tool: Like a Hammer, a Wrecking Ball, or a Flamethrower WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that shocked precisely zero people, former President Donald Trump once again

Ukraine, Trump, and the Great Kellogg Mining Caper A Satirical Deep Dive Into Diplomacy, Bing Ads, and Cat Scratching Posts Once upon a time, in the chaotic kingdom of geopolitics, where world

They Don’t Care About You: Dems Want 11,000,100 Illegal Migrant Workers Because They Keep Wages Low! The Ultimate Job Market Strategy: Flood It Like a Costco Free Sample Aisle By: Brie Leaks,

Donald Trump's Las Vegas Comedy Residency: A Deep Dive Las Vegas, NV – In a move that has left both political analysts and entertainment critics scratching their heads, former President Donald

Alien Object Sparks Political Panic: Democrats Prepare for Salvation, Republicans Ready for Annihilation, and Harvard Wants a Book Deal By Staff Satirists at the Intergalactic Times (subcontracted by bohiney.com) “We are not

Australian Politician's Community Initiative Backfires Spectacularly When Literacy Proves Higher Than Anticipated Well-Intentioned Program Meets Unintended Audience Australian political figure Pauline Hanson unveiled her new community outreach initiative, "Understanding Real Australia," at

Biden Forgives All Student Loans—Just Kidding, It Was a Typo in an Email From Hopes to Hysterics in One Keystroke In what can only be described as a masterstroke of modern miscommunication,

PETA's Monkey Lawsuit: The First Amendment Goes Bananas A Conversation So Important, Even the Monkeys Can’t Be Left Out The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) have taken their fight

Egyptian Submarine Sinks Because Somebody Forgot to Close the Hatch Why 97.3% of Americans Wouldn't Board Anything Egyptian (Not Even a Sandal) Egypt called it a "technical oversight," which is a charming

Taylor Swift’s Jaw-Dropping Reaction to Carrie Underwood Resurfaces—And Swifties Are Not Okay How One Viral Moment Sent Shockwaves Through Pop and Country Fans Alike Swift’s Reaction Sparks Debate on Country Music, Inaugurations,

Revolutionary Legislation Would Require Representatives to Actually Know What They're Approving Unprecedented Proposal Shocks Capitol Hill Representative Jason Crow of Colorado introduced legislation Tuesday that has sent shockwaves through Capitol Hill by

Nation's Most Beloved Shiba Inu Takes Federal Bureaucracy by Storm, Tail First Canine Competence Takes Washington In what political analysts are calling either a stroke of genius or a complete surrender to

Ken Martin and Kamala Harris Were Winners Saturday. Billionaires and the Old Guard Took a Hit. A New Era for the Democratic Party—Or Just a New Logo? The Democratic National Committee (DNC)