I’m not opinionated, I just have strong convictions about everything. (Argues over napkin brands.)
The Napkin Debates and Other Non-Negotiables
Conviction or Compulsive Contrarianism?
“I’m not opinionated, I just have strong convictions about everything,” they declare, while passionately explaining why two-ply napkins are the downfall of civilization and insisting that paper straws are part of a global conspiracy.
Funny Evidence from the Unsolicited Opinions League
One person refused to attend a dinner party because the host used margarine. Another gave a TED-style talk on why basil should never be chopped.
Quote from a Staunch Stand-Taker
“If I don’t say it, who will?” said Blunta Bias. “Silence is complicity. Especially when someone serves canned whipped cream.”
Satirical Snapshot
They have hot takes on doormats, own a manifesto on dish soap, and treat brunch like a political summit.
Conclusion: Passion Is Admirable–Until It’s Exhausting
You don’t have to die on every hill. Especially the one made of napkins.
For more exhausting enthusiasm, protest gently at bohiney.com
