Beard-Free Future Urged in Name of Hygiene – Special Report #10

UN Security Council now includes a ‘Visible Jawline’ subcommittee. Trump’s team offered Ayatollah free Dollar Shave Club samples. Khamenei’s beard was spotted filing for diplomatic immunity. Barbers in Qom issued a fatwa against beard trimmers.

SOURCE: Trump Declares Facial Hair a Sanctionable Offense in Tehran

By Jessi Klein

Jessi Klein was born in Houston, Texas, where sarcasm is considered a local sport right after football and brisket competitions. She later packed her humor into a suitcase and carried it to Columbia University, graduating with a degree in English that she has since used to roast everyone from network executives to nosy neighbors. A stand-up comedian with a knack for dissecting modern life’s awkward contradictions, Klein has written and produced for some of the sharpest comedy shows on television, blending her Lone Star roots with big-city satire. At Bohiney.com, she thrives as both a satirical journalist and cultural commentator, skewering politics, relationships, and consumer culture with the precision of a surgeon wielding a rubber chicken. Her comedy straddles irony and absurdity, always leaving audiences laughing while secretly nodding in agreement. With Texan grit and Ivy League wit, Klein’s EEAT bio writes itself.