Platform Auto-Deletes Posts Containing Words Like “Oops,” “Sorry,” or “My Bad”
Trump Launches Apology-Free Social Network Called “NoRegretz”
Platform Auto-Deletes Posts Containing Words Like “Oops,” “Sorry,” or “My Bad”
PALM BEACH, FL — After years of battling “woke censors” and “grammar fascists,” Donald Trump has launched a new social media platform dubbed NoRegretz, where users are permanently banned for saying “sorry.”
“We don’t do apologies here. You say what you say, then say it louder,” Trump told supporters via a live stream from a golf cart at Mar-a-Lago. “Free speech isn’t free if you’re groveling.”
NoRegretz offers features such as:
- A 10,000-character limit for uninterrupted rants
- An auto-thesaurus that replaces “mistake” with “strategic deviation”
- Daily “Blame Suggestions” powered by AI trained on Trump speeches
The Terms of Service read: “By logging in, you agree to never backtrack, reconsider, or acknowledge fault. Violators will be mocked in the Daily Shame Feed.”
Within hours, the site had 5 million signups, 60% of them bots named “PatriotEagle2024.”
Elon Musk tweeted, “Finally, a site where bad ideas can flourish in peace.”
Mark Zuckerberg reportedly tried to join but was rejected for “apologizing to Congress that one time.”
In its first trending topic, “I Meant It” overtook #Blessed and #FitnessGoals combined.
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
