Visitors Encouraged to Gaslight Themselves in Interactive Exhibit
Trump Library to Include “Hall of Unapologies” With Wax Figures Shrugging
Visitors Encouraged to Gaslight Themselves in Interactive Exhibit
ORLANDO, FL — Plans for the Trump Presidential Library have taken a bold turn with the announcement of its flagship attraction: the “Hall of Unapologies,” a dimly lit wax museum where every statue is frozen mid-shrug.
“We wanted a space that reflects the President’s record: flawless, fabulous, and allergic to remorse,” said chief architect Kayleigh McEnany while dusting a wax Chris Christie labeled “Fall Guy.”
The exhibit includes:
- A Melania animatronic that silently side-eyes every visitor
- A Rudy Giuliani figure perpetually mid-sentence and mid-sweat
- A digital “Tweet Wall” that deletes your search history in real time
Upon entry, guests must sign a waiver agreeing to “release all expectations of accountability.” The audio tour is narrated by Trump himself, saying “I never said that” on loop.
Each wax figure is programmed to respond to questions with “Fake news,” “You heard me,” or “I was joking–unless you liked it.”
The gift shop sells apology erasers, signed subpoenas, and gold-plated Sharpies shaped like middle fingers.
Kids under 12 get in free with proof of never having said “I’m sorry.”
Funding is reportedly coming from the proceeds of unsold steak and a mysterious PAC labeled “OopsPAC.”
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SOURCES:
How to Be POTUS Without Reading Anything
and
How to Be POTUS Without Ever Apologizing
