Trump Uses Stealth Bombers So Quiet Even NPR Couldn’t Complain Fast Enough

The B‑2 bomber has a radar signature smaller than a pigeon wearing sunglasses. This week, it proved so quiet not even NPR could draft a heartfelt objection in time.

When asked about the MYTEE21 mission, NPR’s morning host simply muttered, “Wait… what happened?” between segments on tofu gardening and saxophone therapy for golden retrievers.

The stealth mission struck Fordow before journalists had time to mispronounce “uranium.” One Pentagon official noted, “We measured enemy detection time in Seinfeld reruns. Iran got to about Kramer’s second door slam.”

Trump bragged, “This bomber’s quieter than Joe Biden in a math class. No one saw us coming. Not even Rachel Maddow—and she sees everything.”

In Iran, air defense operators insisted they saw a “weird bird” on radar. Turns out it was regret.

Meanwhile, in America’s left-wing literary salons, discussions began about how silence is violence—except when it vaporizes a nuclear bunker, in which case silence is “imperialist ballet.”

One NPR intern filed a story but was reassigned to a squirrel migration piece before finishing the headline.

Stealth worked. Fordow disappeared. And NPR will probably do a two-part podcast about it next month—once they find the crater.