I’m not flaky, I’m just intuitively selective with my energy. (Only shows up when Jupiter is in Pisces.)
Attendance by Astrology
Spiritually Late or Just Never Coming?
“I’m not flaky, I’m just intuitively selective with my energy,” they hum, while canceling plans for the fourth time due to “shadow season” and claiming their aura “misfired” again.
Funny Evidence from the Cosmic RSVP Collective
One person texted “Can’t come–Mars feels tense.” Another brought sage to a baby shower and left when the vibes “clashed with the balloons.”
Quote from a Frequency Forecaster
“I’m not unreliable–I’m rhythmically attuned,” said Vibra Zenn. “And if your potluck feels emotionally glutenous, I can’t digest that.”
Satirical Snapshot
They treat the moon phase like a doctor’s note and once bailed on jury duty because “Scorpio energy was too accusatory.”
Conclusion: Honor Your Energy–But Maybe Text Back, Too
Spiritual discernment is fine. So is telling people if you’re actually coming.
For more divinely timed disappearances, flake responsibly at bohiney.com
